First week back at work

Monday - "Ok"
Getting ready and out of the house was difficult. Leaving Christina while she was still sleeping was really difficult. Work itself was fine, but at the end of the day I was racing home to get to my little girl. That night I was up late getting organized for the next day.

Tuesday - "Bad"
Christina woke up at 2am and would not go back to sleep. I was close to tears thinking about going to work because I needed some sleep at least. I ended up going into work late. Thank goodness I have the flexibility with work to do that. But, I was in tears all the way to work thinking about how I didn't want to leave Christina. In fact, all day at work I kept thinking about how I could work it out so that I didn't have to leave her. Even Nik was brainstorming because he didn't want me to have to leave her either.

Wednesday - "Really Bad"
Although I wasn't in the office, this was the hardest day. I was suppose to be working from home, but since Christina refuses to nap for me, that proved much more difficult than I had anticipated. I was really stressed out. I couldn't seem to keep CC happy, I couldn't get her to sleep, and essentially she just wanted to be in my arms all day. I found it extremly difficult to feed myself, let alone get any work done. I was so disappointed at myself because my mom had done such a great job with her on Monday and Tuesday. I didn't understand why she could get Christina to nap and why she could keep her in a great mood. I tried so hard and yet she was unhappy and wide awake most of the day. I cried all day because while I tried to work and take care of my daughter at the same time, I found that I failed at both.

Thursday - "Good"
Christina was in a good mood when I left for work. At work, I had lots of meetings and was able to get back into the swing of things. I felt more comfortable leaving Christina since I had done it a couple of days already (and since I wasn't doing a very good job when I was with her anyway). I was able to focus more on work and it felt good to be appreciated and valued at work again. I still rushed out of work at the end of the day, but on the way home I blasted the radio and sang my heart out. It was good to come home and snuggle my little girl.

Friday - "Much Better"
I worked from home again. I'm not a glutton for punishment or anything, but I didn't have a choice. The arrangement I had worked out (while I was still pregnant), included me working from home two days a week for the first few weeks. So, I had to give it another shot. And wouldn't you know, it worked out just fine! There were a couple of small factors that played into a much better day: before Nik left for work he set up my work laptop on our wireless network so that I could work from a more convenient spot in the house and miraculously I was able to get Christina down for a couple of naps.

Now I'm getting ready to start another week of this. I'm sure it will be much easier the second time around, although I'm still not looking forward to being up all night with Christina and then going into work first thing in the morning. But hey, at least I will be home two days a week and now I don't have to stress out about that. I can actually look forward to those days.

2 month stats

Christina had her 2 month well baby visit the other day. She is now 9 pounds and 4 ounces, which is still on the lower side, but she is showing a lot of growth from the last month, so that is good. As for her height, she is 22.5 inches, which is definitely good.

It is very weird that at two months old, my daughter is still not anywhere close to the size Nik's baby brother was when he was born. Alex was almost 11 pounds and 26 inches!! Can you even believe it? My daughter will likely be six months old before she is that size. lol

Happy Halloween

Today is Christina's first Halloween. We aren't going trick or treating since she is so little, but that doesn't stop her from getting dressed up. We had three halloween related outfits to get her into and of course we took pictures.

Grandma got her this costume:


My friend Lina got her this costume:


And, I got this Halloween sleeper from someone, I think a hand-me-down, but I can't remember:


I hope everyone is having a good one, Happy Halloween!

How is she sleeping?

Apparently, "How is she sleeping?" is the question to ask a new mom. I have been asked this dozens of times. So, for all to see, here is the answer to the infamous question . . . not good.

Christina has completely forgotten what we learned weeks ago. The baby that use to go to bed fairly easily, as long as we followed the same routine, is nowhere to be found. I shouldn't complain though, so much has changed for her. I use to nurse her and then give her a bottle in her crib. It was easy for her to doze off since she was already in her crib. Now, there is no bottle. And since we are back to 100% breastfeeding, she seems to hate being separated from me and will not fall asleep without me. Actually, I think it's just my breasts she doesn't want to be separated from, but hey, we are a package deal.

Plus, I am not the only requirement that Christina has for falling asleep. She also will not sleep without nursing. Literally, she must have the breast in the mouth, in order to doze off. See, I told you it is just my breast that she wants!

Even though she will nurse and fall asleep, the problem is that I can never get her from arms to crib without those beautiful eyes popping back open. And if she sees that I am (god forbid) putting her down in a bed that doesn't have me in it, she will not sleep . . no matter how tired she is.

When I take her to my bed, I can nurse her while we both lay down and she will drift off to sleep. Since she is already in a bed (and she knows I am not going anywhere), she will stay asleep. But, she should not be sleeping in our bed with us. I'm sure you can come up with at least one reason why.

Co-sleeping (as they call it), is a SIDS risk and on top of that, I don't want it to become a habit. Also, it takes a huge effort on my part to get out of bed without her waking up. I'm talking extreme skillfulness on my part, even if I just want to get up to go to the bathroom. Then, if she happens to wake up and see that I am not in bed with her, we all have hell to pay!

I obviously don't know what I'm doing with this whole sleeping thing. I can't go on letting her sleep in my bed. I don't know what is going to happen when the alarm clock goes off and I have to get up to get ready for work (starting Monday!!!)

I am going out tomorrow to get an infant sleep book, so hopefully the experts can help me. Because, I really need help.

In the meantime, anyone out there have any advice for me? (Click on "comments" at the bottom of this entry - in case you weren't sure.)

Christina would kill me if she knew

Naked baby time, lol.

Here is a video from her birth day -





Here is a bath time video when she was about three weeks old -