Reunited and it feels so, well – not so good

And now, back to our story . . . .

So I made the jump. I transferred from my college 1000 miles away, to a less prestigious college within 15 minutes of where Nik and my family lived. I went from living in a nice suite with my best friend and two other great women, to living back at home with my mom and step dad. Although it wasn’t the best move, I never regretted it and I never looked back.

When I finally got settled in at home, I was looking forward to finally being in the same zip code as Nik. But things seemed a bit weird between us. It wasn’t the same as when we were talking on the phone everyday and talking online. I realized the transition wasn’t going to be easy.

I think it was because 1000 miles protected us from the awkwardness and insecurity of a new relationship. Once we had been brought back together it didn’t really matter that we had dated for two years. It didn’t matter that we knew each other so very well because we told each other everything in those two years. What did matter was that we had little to no experience face to face, as more than friends.

It really didn’t help that Nik was shy with girls and I was just shy in general. We were trying to figure out how to be alone together, because that was something we almost never did. Then, when we were with our friends, we had to figure out how to be in a relationship without falling out of our friendships. Everything just seemed so backwards.

Normally you get to know each other as a group, spend time alone together, spend time as a couple with your friends, and then slowly learn about each other and grow your feelings for one another. In this case, we had our feelings. We had already fallen in love, but we never did those beginning steps and it was difficult to go back.