Sunday, November 9, 2008

First week back at work

Monday - "Ok"
Getting ready and out of the house was difficult. Leaving Christina while she was still sleeping was really difficult. Work itself was fine, but at the end of the day I was racing home to get to my little girl. That night I was up late getting organized for the next day.

Tuesday - "Bad"
Christina woke up at 2am and would not go back to sleep. I was close to tears thinking about going to work because I needed some sleep at least. I ended up going into work late. Thank goodness I have the flexibility with work to do that. But, I was in tears all the way to work thinking about how I didn't want to leave Christina. In fact, all day at work I kept thinking about how I could work it out so that I didn't have to leave her. Even Nik was brainstorming because he didn't want me to have to leave her either.

Wednesday - "Really Bad"
Although I wasn't in the office, this was the hardest day. I was suppose to be working from home, but since Christina refuses to nap for me, that proved much more difficult than I had anticipated. I was really stressed out. I couldn't seem to keep CC happy, I couldn't get her to sleep, and essentially she just wanted to be in my arms all day. I found it extremly difficult to feed myself, let alone get any work done. I was so disappointed at myself because my mom had done such a great job with her on Monday and Tuesday. I didn't understand why she could get Christina to nap and why she could keep her in a great mood. I tried so hard and yet she was unhappy and wide awake most of the day. I cried all day because while I tried to work and take care of my daughter at the same time, I found that I failed at both.

Thursday - "Good"
Christina was in a good mood when I left for work. At work, I had lots of meetings and was able to get back into the swing of things. I felt more comfortable leaving Christina since I had done it a couple of days already (and since I wasn't doing a very good job when I was with her anyway). I was able to focus more on work and it felt good to be appreciated and valued at work again. I still rushed out of work at the end of the day, but on the way home I blasted the radio and sang my heart out. It was good to come home and snuggle my little girl.

Friday - "Much Better"
I worked from home again. I'm not a glutton for punishment or anything, but I didn't have a choice. The arrangement I had worked out (while I was still pregnant), included me working from home two days a week for the first few weeks. So, I had to give it another shot. And wouldn't you know, it worked out just fine! There were a couple of small factors that played into a much better day: before Nik left for work he set up my work laptop on our wireless network so that I could work from a more convenient spot in the house and miraculously I was able to get Christina down for a couple of naps.

Now I'm getting ready to start another week of this. I'm sure it will be much easier the second time around, although I'm still not looking forward to being up all night with Christina and then going into work first thing in the morning. But hey, at least I will be home two days a week and now I don't have to stress out about that. I can actually look forward to those days.

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