All the things I want to say

I know, I know. I've been a bad, bad blogger. I haven't updated this blog in a very long time, and it wasn't for lack of material either. I've just been busy, frustrated, stressed out, and overall not creatively motivated. But, I'm back and I have so much to tell you. It may take multiple entries actually. Hmph, let's see . . where to start . . .

Nik and I had our first birthing class last week. At first we were dreading 3 hours on a Tuesday night, but it ended up going really fast and we learned so much. Our instructor covered a lot of information, gave us several helpful hand outs, showed us three birthing videos, and had us practice meditating (or at least I think that is the best word for it).

For the meditation part of the class, we had to lay down on our sides and practice breathing while listening to calming music and our instructor talking slow and soft. We were suppose to tune everything out and relax. Apparently, learning to tune everything out, breath properly, and relax, is a very important part of the laboring process. It's too bad that I wasn't able to relax at all, even during the exercise. So I don't know how in the world I would do it during labor.

My back was killing me during the entire "relaxation" process and I could not get comfortable. I guess my mind is not powerful enough to block that out. Of course the situation will only get worse when it's the real deal, so I'm guessing I will totally suck at this meditation thing. I guess all I can do is just keep practicing in my classes, and hope that I get better at this.

The instructor was right about one thing though. After doing that exercise at the very end of class and then heading home, I was able to sleep like a baby that night! Actually that phrase "sleep like a baby" doesn't even make any sense since we all know that babies typically wake up throughout the night. So, I guess a better way of saying it, is that I slept like a rock. All of the calming influences in class paid off for me when it was time to get a good night sleep. So I guess you could say that even though I wasn't any good at meditation, the exercise wasn't completely wasted on me.

Overall, I was pleased that we signed up for this class and I'm looking forward to the next class tomorrow night. I wish I could say the same for the hospital tour though.

Nik and I went to the hospital last night for the infamous "hospital tour". I had been looking forward to this for months. Several girls on the nest (baby related message board I'm on) have said how informative their tour had been. Of course I hadn't talked to anyone that specifically took a tour at my hospital, but I figured they would all be basically the same. I was wrong . . . big time.

The so called "tour guide" walked us through L&D (labor and delivery ward) and the maternity ward and showed us the rooms. That is pretty much it. Now, maybe you are thinking to yourself - "Well, that is just what a tour is." I know my husband definitely felt that way. But, I guess I was expecting more, based on the other hospital tours I have heard about.

I expected the "tour guide" (a nurse), to give us some information about the process of giving birth at their facility. For example, what are the policies and procedures and how strictly do they or we have to stick to them?

The L&D nurse mentioned that when we get into our room they will give us an IV and check our vitals. I wanted to ask, "what if we don't want an IV, is that standard, do I have a choice?" But, of course I didn't ask because I was in a room full of strangers who all just stood there and nodded their heads.

I guess that was my own personal fault, and I probably should have just spoken up. But, I didn't. There were a couple of instances like this, where she would casually mention something and I would think, "well, I really don't want to do that/follow that/etc . . do I have too?". I guess I just didn't want to seem like the annoying person that doesn't want to follow rules. But, I really just wanted to know if these policies and procedures are set in stone, or if they are flexible. Now thinking about it, I should have just asked that very question. Damn, too late!

I have decided that I am going to talk to my doctor about the hospitals policies and procedures and I'm going to ask if they are flexible. Since she works exclusively with this hospital, I think she should know. Plus I feel more comfortable telling her what I want and don't want (even if it goes against the hospitals standard procedures).

But, the place where I feel I really was let down by the tour, was all of the stuff I haven't thought about or that I don't already have an idea about. Who is going to tell me about all of the unexpected things I am going to encounter? For example, one girl on the nest said that on her tour, they showed her the size of the pads that new mothers will need to wear after delivery. Apparently, you bleed so much that you have to wear something that resembles a DIAPER (gasp!) for quite a long time. Had she not heard this on her tour and passed the info. on to me, I would have no idea. I was hoping that during my tour, I would learn more things like this, that I did not know or expect.

By the way, I was also expecting the tour to take about an hour. I'm not sure where I got that timeframe from, but I guess I just thought it made sense. Instead, I think we might have hit the 20 minute mark, and that included all of the walking we did and elevators we took just to get to L&D.

Seriously, the tour was pathetic. So totally pathetic that I realized as we were walking out of the building, that they never even told us where we should check in when we arrive at the hospital in labor. Of course I could just go to the L&D nurses station and have them direct me. But come on, doesn't that information seem important to tell expectant mothers on a tour of the hospital where they will deliver? Plus, I don't even remember where the L&D ward is located in the hospital because the tour was so fast!

Man, can you tell I'm frustrated? Nik didn't get it though. He said it was what he expected. So, I guess my expectations were just too high. Well, excuse me for wanting to be prepared.

Anyway, this is where I will leave you for today. I'll have to finish catching you up another day. I don't want you to fall asleep reading my novel of a blog entry.
Coming up in future entries: the stages of the baby's room, mine and the baby's health status from the doctors and my own point of view, my upcoming baby shower, and updated belly pictures. Plus, I'm sure I'll throw in some more b*tching and complaining, lol.