Monday, February 14, 2011

V Day

So, it's Valentine's Day, the day that teenagers all over the world look forward to with great excitement or the day that they dread with so much disdain that they want to crawl into a hole and just die. Of course which one totally depends on whether or not they have a "Valentine". It is such a dumb thing to me, but I too remember how my entire world was based on whether or not I received a grand gesture of "love" (in front of the whole school of course), on Valentine's Day.

Balloons and roses, candy and cards. And for those in committed relationships, there was expensive jewelry and video game consoles. Oh yes. If you had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day and he didn't spend at least $200 on you, let's just say that you'd have to make excuses to all of your friends about why your boyfriend couldn't get you what he really wanted to get you. It wasn't that he didn't love you, oh no, it wasn't that he didn't want to get you a gold name plated necklace covered in diamonds (remember when those were popular?), but it was because he just had to pay for his new car or some other random excuse.

When I think about the weird things that teenagers feel pressured about, it makes me feel like I'm looking back into the twilight zone. Why did a rose or a balloon mean so much? Why did it matter if Valentine's Day came and went without a boy declaring his undying love for you?

Now I'm married and have two children. I love the three of them and am extremely happy in my home and in my life. I don't want to sweep Valentine's Day under the rug or anything, but I have to say that I really don't understand the hype that some people put on this silly day. I guess it is nice that there is one day out of the year that makes my husband feel obligated to romance me. But honestly I'd much rather him romance me on Mother's Day by showing and telling me what a great Mom I am. I'd like flowers and a dinner and all around "best husband behavior" on that day in May when restaurants are booked solid with families and the flowers have just started blooming, ready for purchase at your local garden center (perfect timing).

I'll take wining and dining (trade the wine for Amstel Light please) any time of the year if we decide to make it special. I don't need red roses that cost a gazillion times more today, when he could just buy them for me any ol' day for a much more reasonable price.

Maybe this is partly because I feel like Valentine's Day (if it means anything at all) is about both people - the man and the woman. I don't know why or when I started to feel like this, but I don't think Valentine's Day is about the guy spoiling the girl. I feel like it is about each person showing the other person how much they care. I feel special when Nik comes home with flowers or sends them to me on V day, but I also feel like I need and should do something for him. It is his day too. So, wouldn't it be more romantic if he just bought me flowers on a random Tuesday and I cooked him his favorite dinner, light some candles and put on a cute dress on, say, a Friday night in June? That would be special. Not on a night when we are both trying to make it special because the calendar tells us so.

Am I a hater? Or does anyone else see where I'm coming from?

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