Friday, July 29, 2011

I want to go back to bed

The alarm clock always goes off too early.  Whether I'm up early nursing Gwen and have only just fallen back asleep before that annoying sound goes off or whether I actually sleep all night (because Gwen does), but somehow feel more tired than ever when the beeping starts, I am never ready to get up.

When I was a teenager I was a morning person.  I would get up two hours before school so that I had plenty of time to get ready and go pick up half the city in my car (as many friends as I could squeeze in).  I was the only one with a car and I loved to drive.  It seems that ever since I had Christina though, I have a very difficult time convincing myself to get out of bed in the morning.  I think it has less to do with having children and more to do with the job I have had though.  My hours are flexible and I don't exactly have to be in at a specific time each day.  It's much easier to get up when you know you have to be at work on time.

These days I set the alarm clock for 7am so that I can get up and get the kids ready for school (aka daycare).  My cousin comes to pick them up at 7:30 every morning to bring them in.  When the alarm clock goes off, I know that I have to get up to get them ready.  There is no time for snoozing, we have to get right to it.  I have to pry myself out of the bed though because I'm just so tired all of the time.  I tell myself that I will just hurry and get them ready, see them off, and then get back in bed (and back to sleep).  Holding onto the idea that I can go back to sleep after they go off to school, is actually what gets me going. 

The funny part of this motivation is that I have never, not even once (unless I was sick), gotten back in bed after sending them off to school.  By the time I get the girls ready and into the car, I am too awake to be able to go back to bed guilt free.  Instead, I either head straight to the shower to get ready to go into the office or I get right in front of my computer and start working from home.  Either way, I never get the extra sleep I so crave.  And it isn't because I don't want the extra sleep, it is just the nagging guilt of putting my work off for another hour or so.

I am glad that the motivation to get out of bed still works though.  Whatever it takes I guess :-)

Now, let me go take a nap . . .

. . . . just kidding.

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