Saturday, May 15, 2010

Who's the Boss?

So, it turns out my daugther isn't perfect. I know. I was shocked too. I've seen her socializing with the other children at daycare and she doesn't play very nice. We walk in the room and she immediately sets her eyes on some random toy across the room. It doesn't matter that she isn't actually playing with it or that it doesn't belong to her. It doesn't matter if other children are already playing with it or not. It doesn't matter which toy it is, it is always something different. Immediately though, she feels as if she owns the toy and only she should be able to play with it or even touch it.

The other day we walked in and she set her sights on a stuffed cow. She ran to it, picked it up and clutched it in her arms. Then she said "mine", of course. I told her that it wasn't hers but that she could play with it. Some of the other children came over to her. They always greet her when she comes in, but for some reason she sees it as a threat. When one of them attempts to lay a hand on the cow, Christina starts screaming at the top of her lungs. Screaming. It is totally not necessary.

I feel bad for the other children because they honestly just want to play with Christina. They like Christina and therefore whatever she is playing with, they want to play with too. They don't mind sharing. But, Christina is so far on the other side of wanting to share, that she becomes a crazy girl trying to protect her toy as if it is her own life.

At the park the other day, Christina was playing in the sandbox. It took about twenty minutes of her standing outside the sandbox, watching the other kids play, before she attempted to get inside. She was really freaked out by the dirty sand and didn't want to touch anything. Slowly, she felt a little better and began playing with a shovel and truck. She was shoveling sand onto the truck, being very careful not to get herself dirty.

Another little girl the same age as Christina came over and tried to play with her. Christina kept freaking out and pulling the truck away, even though the other girl hadn't actually touched the truck. The little girl went away to another part of the sandbox (I don't think she wanted to deal with Christina's drama), but CC could still not take her eyes off of her. She kept watching her, giving her dirty looks, and protecting "her" truck.

I know most children don't like to share. I know it is something that they need to learn. But, boy do I have my work cut out for me. I feel so bad for the other kids and I just wish Christina would relax and play nicely with them.

And, this doesn't only happen with toys. She is like this with her teachers as well. Last week another child was sitting on her teachers lap. Christina got pissed off. "How DARE someone sit on my teachers lap!", I'm sure she thought. She walked right over to the child and shoved him off the teachers lap. The poor kid actually fell and then turned around and bit Christina on the arm as payback.

The teacher was very apologetic about the whole thing to me. But honestly, I'm not sure why. The bite didn't break the skin and Christina didn't even cry, so I'm sure it didn't really phase her. But also, the kid was totally right in trying to fight back. I mean, I don't condone fighting, hitting, or biting, but I understand where the kid was coming from. Christina was way over the line.

I don't know exactly how to fix her rage, ownership, and protection issues but I sure hope she doesn't act like this towards poor defenseless Gwendolyn when she comes along. I've been putting Christina in time out lately whenever she hits or bites, but she doesn't seem to get the message. Anyone have any suggestions?


  1. You know Megan.. this is such a hard phase. they don't call it the terrible two's for nothing..
    She is slowly realizing that the others in her world aren't all centered around her and she it figuring out how to deal with it.
    As to punishing her... it is a toss up.. You need to find out what works for her... Just remember you can't reason or explain too much to a two year old.
    I tried time out with Lib and it failed... she managed to enteratin herself just fine in time out.. what ended up working for her was me leaving her and turning my back on her...
    PJ... he needed to feel the "pain a few times" and then he got it ...
    Kaci... all you had to do was threaten her and that was all she needed...

    as to having gwendolyn in the home .... hopefully she will react like lib did...
    at first she wanted to be fed like the twins.. so we fed her formula out of a bottle (not what she drinks) and swaddled her REAL tight.. and said if you want to eat like the babies you need to be treated like they are...
    pretty soon after that she decided they were to little and couldn't do anything for themselves.. and (not sure if this is right or wrong) we let her go with that... ha ha... they didn't bother her until they started walking...

    hope some of this helps...
    love ya

  2. Thanks Elizabeth, that is really helpful. I think that Christina is like Lib in the way that time out doesn't work too well. The other day we had music on in the house and she was dancing around, having a great time. She did something that sent her to timeout. When I came back to get her, I found her dancing in her crib with a huge smile on her face! She doesn't like it when I walk away from her upset, so I think I should try the method that worked for you with Libbi.


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